MadelineAwesome

pizza and i have an awkward relationship. I didn’t like pizza until like 7th grade which really put me in an odd situation at most birthday parties, class parties, group project gatherings and really it ruined my life every day. But eventually i got into it. But only if it was plain cheese pizza. and if it had too much sauce, i’d peel off the cheese, wipe off some sauce and stick the cheese back on. And as a chicagoan, i committed blasphemy everytime the cheesey, saucey carb entered my mouth–i ate thin crust exclusively. Around junior year i decided to give spinach deep dish a try and OMG I FELL IN LUFF. srsly. luff it. but i still pretty much stuck with my classic cheese thin crust. ENTER COLLEGE. I don’t know how it happened, but someone persuaded me that i had to eat the sausage and mushroom at motherbears, the most happening pizza place in all of Bloomington. Whatever, i’m new, trying to make friends, i obliged. AND OMG I WAS ALSO IN LOVE WITH IT.  so my favorite thing in the world now is Mother Bears with sausage and mushroom. I don’t know if chicago people know about this, but outside of chicago, sausage is different. its not like the chunky shit we’re used to–its like ground beef. and its GLORIOUS. omg i love it.

but anyways. the other night, as you may have read in this post, adam and i ordered a pizza, not motherbears(4th in the nation yall)  because they were closed. but yeah. that pizza with love. but we ordered it and ate most of it. but there were two slices left. and the next day, i was hungry. so i did somethind i’d never done before—I ATE COLD PIZZA WTF?

here is the documentation of me eating cold pizza for the first time.

oh no guys! i think i’m busy on the 23th.

Last night Adam and I ordered a pizza online. We picked our toppings–mushroom and chicken, our side–breadsticks (cheese sticks cost more and are gross.) and then the online order form had a blank box for “special instructions”.

Our special instructions were something along the lines of the following:

“please make our pizza with love. and by love i mean as much love as is humanly possible. Also please include a pinch of good luck and stardust. Does this order include a unicorn?”

When we recieved our pizza, the box looked like this:

so yah. successful.

Once upon a time, a few weeks ago, a friend’s mother asked me this: “Madeline, how cold does it have to get before you wear socks?” Well Jesse’s mom…today, today I have an answer.

the answer is it has to be 3 degrees but fee like -13 degrees. Because today, for the first time since social norms in korea forced me to, i am wearing socks. It was really a walk of shame, all 4 feet of it, from my desk to my underwear drawer–which houses my 2 pairs of socks. I almost didnt know how to put them on. my shoes felt tight and uncomfortable. But i’m wearing them. But when this weather subsides i will go back to my glorious ways of foot freedom.

eating beef jerky is kind of like being the kid who thinks that body worlds is an all you can eat buffet.

Dear Internet (AKA WORLD WIDE WEBZ),

I’m just bl0gging to let you know that I have a heterosexual woman crush on Sasha. This is the main reason:

SashaSauce
i was about 2 invite u over to watch those movies then i rememeberd mom broke the DVD player because she probably tried to cook a waffle in it or something

MadelineAwesome
AHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAA

SashaSauce
but i also don’t want you bleeding on my shit, ya know?

MadelineAwesome
hahahhahahahhahaa

SashaSauce
uhgud i’m so funny

today i was required to sit at home all day and wait for the UPS man. we don’t know what the package is that we’re waiting on, but we know that UPS left us a note saying that sometime between 10am and 5pm they will be attempting to deliver this package for the LAST time.

SO. here i was at 1130 am watching Barney when i noticed some new orange dipshit on there.

who IS this guy?

I had to let all my friends know about this. The text i sent said “There is a new dinosaur on Barney. WTF?”

here are some responses.

“You’re weird” -Kevin—Now he actually send ‘your weird’ but i’m sure he really meant to use the contraction instead of the possessive.

“Wait why? What is its name?”-Adam
“I don’t know. I started watching too late. but he is orange and might be mexican.”-MadelineAwesome
“I don’t get it. What is his motivation?”-Adam

“WHAT? That was the only constant in my life.”- Sasha

Its okay sasha. We’ll get through this together. that is what friends are for.

after some research. here is what i’ve found about this new guy.

MSNBC reports:
“The new season that kicks off Monday adds a new splash of color, a tiny orange hadrosaur named Riff. The pint-sized cousin of Barney’s pals BJ and Baby Bop loves music, showing his enjoyment when his crest blinks with colorful light.”

his crest blinks with colorful light? kids today are overstimulated. please go back to singing mr. knickerbocker.

When I name my children, I will be putting great stresses on not having their name share the same t9 format as any embarassing words. so far, this is excluding a lot of names. Here is a list of what some of my friends’ names come up as before pressing the alternative key.

Brian- Asian
Jordan- Korean
Sam- Ran-san-pan
Sasha- Scrib
Anna- Bomb-boob-comb-coma
Adam- Beam

good thing i am not planning on naming my kids those things.
 Here is what t9 predicts for me trying to enter my future childrens names.

Harrison- Garrison (close, but no cigar)

Jackson- FIRST TRY BABY. THIS ONE IS A KEEPER.

Fox-  ANOTHER FIRST TRY. I AM THE QUEEN OF MOMS TO BE.

WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN.

in other news: i turned 19 yesterday!

i am mildly obsessed with tetris.

this is my new record.

in other news:

my college bestie Adam wants to be blogged about. so. here are some cute pictures i took of adam and some statements about him.

(k so i didnt take this picture, but i DID bling it out.)

adam loves korea like me.

adam stole my glasses, my hat and several of my shirts. a hole.