I am pretty sure that everyone is really concerned with my well being and stuff so i thought i’d let you know that i am really well maintained as far as my medication. I am on this drug to treat severe depression (plz don’t h8 me if you are srsly depressed. get some xanax and/or prozak plz). my drugz are really g00d for if you are sad and don’t find anything affable and/or laughable (get it? they rhyme). basically just you guy should all get a prescription for my drug.

McCain Reacts to Heidi Montag Endorsement!

PENSACOLA, FL. Asked for a reaction to the news that he’d been endorsed by reality-soap bad girl Heidi Montag of “The Hills,” John McCain told Swampland: “I’m honored to have Heidi’s support and I want to assure her that I never miss an episode of ‘The Hills,’ especially since the new season started.”

i was blessed a few months ago with UNLIMITED TEXTIES. this has meant a great deal for my life. Mostly  just that i dont have to yell at people for sending me unnecessary texts. I love the unnecessary text. I am ALL ABOUT the unnecessary text. I will send every jew in my phone a random text that says ’shalom’. I will message all the people in the room with me ‘i have to pee.’ I will text my homies several times during a day to keep them updated on my most mundane activities.

I even activated the butthole deal that is Facebook Mobile. It is kind of annoying. I liked it for like 20 minutes but then it just got out of control. I am a popular mother effer.  so i get lots of wall posts and photo comments and it just got a little redickkk last night. My darling friend Emanuel decided that he needed to comment on approx 38 of my images last night. And my phone was buzzing like a bee or a fly or a vibrator.

This post is so terrible. Plz text me to tell me that. or give me an idea of what to write about. Perhaps i will write about alt-jewz because Carles of hipster runoff reFUZEs(sasha joke<3) to do so and we all know that i only maintain this blog as a catch all for the important things carles forgets about.

my friend ben was listening to ‘i will follow you into the dark’ by death cab for cutie and it reminded me of this story. so i told it to him via shoutbox on last.fm. after submitting it, i realized it makes kind of a good mini blog story. here it is:

i had a big fight with my sensei at japanese camp about who would get to play ‘i will follow you into the dark’ for the talent show. but it wound up that there were too many people signing up to play so senseis couldnt participate and i wound up playing sufjan stevens anyways.